Facing the Pain

Ever feel something so painful that you're too afraid to feel it, because then whatever is hurting you becomes real, and when it becomes real you just know the pain is unbearable?  That's the kind of pain that comes with loss.  Loss of a spouse, a family member, a friend, or God forbid a child.  There is no pain greater than loss either through death or otherwise.  The end of a relationship is a death to your heart and thus a grieving process; it's important to not rush through the process.  So when you're ready take a deep breath and slowly guide yourself to your where you need to be.

• If you have been holding in the pain for a while it may take some time to bring it up.  You might need some help, like playing music, talking it out, or writing in a journal may help you to bring it to the surface.  
• When you start to feel it rising pay attention to your thoughts.   Your brain's job is to protect you, it will do this by keeping you from feeling, so you end up just thinking instead feeling.  Therefore you need to push thoughts aside and allow yourself to feel.  The more times you do the easier it will become. 
• It takes more than one cry.  It may take 3 or 300, regardless, each time you allow yourself to feel it then you are that much closer to letting it go.  
• Close the wound when it's time to move on.  There is a time and place for everything, if you leave the wound open your setting yourself up to be hurt again.  
• You need something else to take its place.  The pain has been taking up space, and once you start removing it then there needs to be something else to replace it, like acceptance and love through a new friendship 

Pain doesn't seem like a good thing but it is.  Pain means healing, allow yourself to feel so that you can heal. Take the time for yourself like you would be for any of your friends.  How many times have you sat on the phone for hours on end just listening, do the same for yourself?